So I did actually write an entry similar to this one the other day in Nando’s in Singapore but Tumblr can be funny sometimes and not publish what you write then you lose it (Lesson learnt: Always write it in notes rather than straight to blog)
Anyway, I can honestly say I have not been coping very well on this trip. This is my 10th solo trip and my 3rd solo backpacking big trip but it is the only trip with no end date. I think it is that that is getting to me.
It is so much harder than what I was expecting. Before booking my trip I entered into a relationship with someone I well and truly have fallen for. I knew I would have to leave him behind to take this trip and we agreed to remain in our relationship as it’s worth sticking with we both agree. However, I didn’t anticipate it being so difficult being away from him. I’ve travelled whilst in a relationship previously and I didn’t expect it to be any different but it is, possibly because I have grown older and gotten used to my home comforts but also because my most recent relationship means so much to me.
Either way, I haven’t coped too well. I’ve been very homesick but I am determined to change that!
One thing about being away from home is you want to try a bunch of new experiences and do the whole ‘finding yourself’ crap and everything I’ve done in the past. But I’m way past that now and I’m getting on a bit.. I’m only 25 but when surrounded by 18 year old backpackers you can really feel the difference! Sometimes you just need some time to take a step back and think about what you really want to spend your days doing and not just follow what you think you ought to be doing.
Anyway, I’ve always been one to throw myself in at the deep end but lately I’ve realised how much a home comfort can satisfy your homesickness! You may think it’s lame to go to bed early to read a book or watch Netflix when you should be out making the most of the trip and partying but actually… It’s exactly what you need.
When a movie trailer appeared on my YouTube whilst I was in Singapore, it caught me by surprise. It shocked me because I realised.. This is the first time I’ve seen something on a screen for 10 days.. And that’s unusual for the life I lead back home sitting in front of the TV every day.
I’m not saying you should just go and do what you do back home, but you should definitely take a step back to reality every so often.
Tonight I spoke with my boyfriend for an hour on the phone and I feel a million times better than I did yesterday. It was a wake up call that he’s still there, home isn’t going anywhere and that I can reach him and any of my family and friends whenever I need to. I am also listening to music now whilst blogging which is also very relaxing. I’ve not had a ‘normal’ day for 2 weeks now. It was nice and has made me feel much more comfortable.
Travelling can make you feel very lonely and isolated. You could be surrounded by people but if you have something on your mind then nothing is a distraction unfortunately. I have met fellow travellers that have experienced the exact same feeling but what we remind ourselves is that we are out here for a reason and whilst the bad days are tough the good days are absolutely amazing.
The key is to remember you may only get chance to do this once in your whole life so make the most of it and embrace it whilst you can.
I don’t know when I will be home but I have all the time in the world to live at home, so for now I’m going to enjoy my occasional home comforts but enjoy my new surroundings just as well.
So onwards and upwards I know that it will all be worthwhile sticking with it!