Travelling solo: The hard part

“Travelling is amazing, you will ‘find yourself’ discover incredible places and have life-changing experiences” – That is what they will tell you.
And for the most part it is true.
But what about when it stops being the case and you begin to feel nothing but..alone?
Loneliness is a cruel emotion and can very easily take over your mind. Once you feel lonely it’s hard to snap out of it and without the help of your family and friends and even just a simple conversation you begin to feel even more isolated.
For quite some time whilst I’ve been travelling, I have been incredibly unhappy. Nobody knows because nobody asks me how I’m feeling and an odd selfie of me on a beach is enough to convince anyone that I must be having an amazing time apparently.
When you travel solo you learn a lot about the people in your life that matter. There are those that will continue to keep in touch and ask what you are upto, then those you begin to question why you ever had them in your life in the first place if you can go 3 months without a single word.
Sure I’m probably having a bad week however it doesn’t change the fact this is actually the truth.
Travelling is so much more difficult than people give you credit for. It’s stressful, it’s energy consuming and it’s challenging. Yet most people think if you’re in paradise how can that be the case?
Truth is, I can’t remember the last time I had a face to face conversation with a human being. You can count shop assistants and retail staff sure but what am I to them, just a customer.
When on the road you never know whether you’ll meet someone tomorrow or in a months time and in quiet season hostels are unpredictable.
I miss having a social life, having company and having someone to talk about my day with. This is harder than I ever anticipated and whilst a week in Hawaii ought to be fun, I have absolutely no motivation to leave my bed because dreaming feels so much more appealing to me right now.
I met numerous amounts of people in Australia travelling solo and unfortunately what I describe was the mutual feeling. Travelling is so much more anti-social than it used to be. I’m not saying I’m not guilty of this because of course I am, I’m currently blogging right now.
But in 2013 I sat in a common room in LA and talked to people. I didn’t even travel with a mobile phone. I had nothing to do but meet new people. Yet now, a common area is full of people staring at a screen. Do you interrupt or do you just join in with the robotic society.
I don’t know what I expected but one thing is for sure. This trip has been an eye opener and it certainly will be the end for any solo travels in the future.
For now, I will take my thoughts and scatter them all over the beach to give my head some peace.

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